Here’s how to deal with a breakup

While you might feel helpless and sad after a breakup, there’s a lot you can do to cope with whatever feelings of hurt come up for you — and eventually get over your ex. These short-term actions, focused on stability, boundaries, and emotional space, can help you along the way.

1. Prepare for emotional ups and downs

Recovery from a breakup is rarely a straight line. You may feel sad one moment and relieved or angry the next. These shifts are a common part of grieving a relationship and adjusting to life without that person. When these emotions surface, it can help to pause, acknowledge what you’re feeling without judgment, and remind yourself that healing takes time. Reaching out for support and practicing small acts of self-care can make these moments easier to move through.

2. Create structure while you heal

Recovery from a breakup takes time, but what you do during that time can shape how you move through it. Research suggests that the coping strategies people use after a breakup can significantly influence their emotional recovery, with adaptive coping behaviors associated with lower levels of distress over time. One helpful approach is to create a “minimum care routine.” Instead of expecting yourself to function at your usual capacity, focus on a few small, consistent behaviors that support emotional regulation and stability during a difficult period.

3. Set boundaries with your ex (online and offline)

Every breakup is different, and the level of contact you have with an ex-partner may vary. Some people choose not to communicate at all, while others may need to maintain some contact due to shared responsibilities or social circles. Take time to consider what feels healthiest for you and set boundaries that support your healing.

This might include asking for space, limiting communication, or muting your ex on social media. Creating distance can help reduce emotional overwhelm and give you time to adjust. Research suggests that breakups can temporarily disrupt a person’s sense of identity, and taking space from a former partner can support the process of rebuilding clarity about who you are outside of the relationship.

4. Practice meditation or quiet reflection

During times of stress and hurt, your mind and body may need extra support to feel grounded. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help calm racing thoughts and bring your attention back to the present moment.

If you’re ready to process your emotions, reflective activities like journaling can also be helpful; self-care is key. Writing about what the relationship meant to you, the lessons you learned, and how you want to move forward can support emotional clarity and healing. Even a few minutes of quiet breathing or reflection can help settle your nervous system and create a greater sense of emotional steadiness. Research shows that mindfulness-based practices are effective at reducing stress, anxiety, and emotional distress.

5. Lean on trusted friends or support systems

It’s easy to feel lonely and isolated after a romantic relationship ends. Whether you need advice, a listening ear, just someone to spend time with, a solid social support system can remind you that you’re not alone. If reaching out feels hard at first, start small. A quick text, short walk, or low-key plan can be enough to foster connection. Over time, regular touchpoints with people you trust can help counter isolation and support your emotional well-being. 

6. Reestablish daily routines and structure

You might feel aimless after a breakup. During times of change or uncertainty, structure can be soothing to your mind and body. Even when you don’t feel like it, try to maintain a daily routine at home, work, or school. Whether you prioritize nutritious meals or quality sleep each day or plan a workout or get-together with friends on the same day each week, taking care of yourself by tuning into your needs is also a great exercise in self-compassion.

7. Engage in regular physical movement or exercise

Physical activity can be a helpful way to release stress and support emotional regulation after a breakup. Movement — especially when paired with calming practices like deep breathing — can help regulate your nervous system and reduce feelings of overwhelm. Activities such as yoga, stretching, or taking a walk outside can provide both physical and mental relief.

Even small amounts of movement can make a difference. Research suggests that regular physical activity helps regulate the body’s stress response system and can reduce physiological stress over time. You may notice that after moving your body, your mind feels calmer and you feel more grounded.

8. Reinvest in your life and sense of purpose

A relationship often takes up a significant amount of time, attention, and emotional energy. After a breakup, it’s common to feel restless or unsure of where to direct that energy. One helpful step in the healing process is to intentionally reinvest in areas of your life that reflect who you are outside of the relationship. This might mean deepening connections with friends and family, returning to interests that once brought you joy, reconnecting with your faith or spiritual practices, or exploring new goals and experiences. Engaging in meaningful activities can help restore a sense of direction and reinforce parts of your identity that may have felt overshadowed during the relationship.